The song opens with a clear expression of frustration towards dating apps, stating, “Dating apps all get me mad / They waste my time and they make me sad.” This sets the tone for the entire piece, where Cardy uses humor to address a serious issue: the emotional toll of using these platforms. The line, “Remember, if an app is free to use / They’re still making money, but the product is you,” serves as a stark reminder that users are often the commodity in a system designed to profit from their engagement.

In the first verse, Cardy introduces the concept of algorithms that encourage prolonged usage, suggesting that users are manipulated into staying on the app longer than they intend. The phrase, “Mr dating app says ‘I’m designed to be deleted’ / That’s bulls**t,” highlights the irony of dating apps claiming to help users find love while simultaneously creating an environment that fosters addiction. The metaphor of a hamburger shop giving away free burgers is particularly striking; it illustrates how enticing offers can lead to a cycle of dissatisfaction. Users are drawn in by the promise of connection but often leave feeling empty, much like someone who eats a free burger but is still hungry for something more substantial.

The chorus reinforces this idea with the repeated lines, “Never come back, please don’t come back / Take the free s**t, never come back.” This repetition emphasizes the contradictory nature of the apps’ promises. They want users to engage without truly investing in their emotional well-being. The post-chorus further explores this theme, suggesting that while users provide their time and attention, the apps are designed to keep them coming back for more, akin to a free burger that leads to a craving for more.

In the second verse, Cardy continues the burger metaphor, stating, “Free burger / Designed not to be eat-ed / So eat it / We promise you won’t get addicted.” This line sarcastically suggests that the apps are aware of their addictive nature but downplay it to lure users in. The mention of “s**xy burgers in the back” implies that there are hidden costs and ulterior motives behind the seemingly free offerings.

The chorus repeats, emphasizing the cycle of addiction and the emotional struggle of wanting to connect while being aware of the manipulative tactics at play. The outro brings the song full circle, with a mention of a “discount on a 6 month subscription contract” that highlights the financial traps users can fall into. The line, “They promise it’s the last burger you’ll ever eat / But check under the patty / Dopamine,” serves as a powerful conclusion, suggesting that the fleeting pleasure derived from these apps is ultimately tied to the release of dopamine, reinforcing the idea that users are caught in a cycle of temporary satisfaction without genuine fulfillment.

Released in 2023, “Dating Apps (Can Sit and Rotate)” reflects a growing cultural awareness of the impact of technology on personal relationships. As dating apps have become ubiquitous, discussions around their effects on mental health and emotional well-being have intensified. The song captures the zeitgeist of a generation grappling with the paradox of seeking connection in a digital age while facing the pitfalls of superficial interactions. The humor and sarcasm in Cardy’s lyrics resonate with many who have experienced the frustrations of modern dating, making it a relevant commentary on contemporary dating culture.